Falling
by Gwendelen7
Summary: Falling isn't really that bad when you do it with someone you love...


A/N – I do not own Star Trek, this story was written for fun and not profit, Star Trek belongs to Paramount. Thank you to my two editors who helped me with this story: Elementmistress and Arcangel.

Spock was behind me, he was always behind me. As I walk I think about the first time we beamed down together, Spock had quoted every Star Fleet regulation in the books at me. Needless to say I have since won that argument and I only request that he beam down with me out of habit, he knows that I will want him with me regardless of what Star Fleet regulations say on the matter.

Regulations, that had been the topic of our most resent debate when I realized that the communicator that I had brought with me was not working, Spock had wanted to beam back to get a new one, but had agreed that that would be a waste of our limited time on the planet, plus I was with him and his worked perfectly.

Suddenly I am pulled out of my thoughts as I am stopped short as a pair of blue clad arms wrapped tightly around my torso dragging me back. I had been so wrapped in my thoughts that I had almost walked right off the cliff in front of me. Still within the Vulcan's grip I step forward to peer over the edge of the cliff, the sight of the ocean churning about a hundred feet below is enough to make my stomach turn. "That could have been quite nasty," I say as I turn around to face my first officer with a tone that I hope doesn't convey my terror of having almost plummeted over the edge.

"Affirmative", he says as he releases his hold on me "I estimate that there would be a 48.569% chance of your demise if you had…"

He never finishes his sentence; there is a loud crack and the last sight I see is a look of pure terror rip across my friend's face. It feels as time has slowed down as I watch the side of cliff rise above me, and the ocean comes rushing up to meet me.

…

The captain seemed deep in thought as we explored the new planet, I wonder absently if he even knows where he is going. I receive my answer a moment later when his course takes him to the edge of a tall out cropping and shows no signs of stopping. Quickly, I reach out and grab hold of him to pull back. I hold on longer then is needed, telling myself it was logical to insure that he becomes aware of his peril. When he turns around I am forced to let go and let him stand on his own, an action I regret almost immediately.

The outcropping on which my captain is standing on gives way and Jim, who had been standing before me one minute, is suddenly gone. My brain quickly sends eerily similar images of my mother's death dancing around my brain. I panic, and jump off the cliff desperate to save my captain. 0.045 seconds later my logical mind catches up to me and reminds me that I never learned to swim, and the water's cold temperatures are going to wreak havoc with my Vulcan biology. I pull my communicator out and start repeatedly hitting the call button, hoping that Lt. Scotty will make the connection.

…

"Sir here it is again, that's the sixth time we've received comm activity without a message." Lt. Uhora reports with a hint of a frown playing across her face. We had heard from all the away teams except one: the Captain and Spock. If it had been Captain Kirk alone I would not have worried as much, since he tends to get caught up in the experience of exploration, but Spock; Spock was never late.

"Checkov can you locate the captain and commander Spock?" I ask.

"Yez zir, right away zir. They are right at…zat is wery odd."

"What is?" I demand impatiently "Spit it out ladie"

"Ze captain and commander Spock are about thirty feet below the ground level…now thirty five and they seem to be dezending wertically not horizontally, in fact it iz quite similar to the movements of a person under… " The young Russian's voice squeaks a little as he realizes what his reading are telling him "They are in ze vater and zinking fast, too fast!"

"Scotty to transporter room three, emergency transport of the Captain and Commander Spock to the sick bay, and Heery ladie!"

…

I remember hitting the water, it had knocked the air out of me and I was now sinking further and further down, the light of the planet's sun fading away into shadow. Then there was another shadow… coming closer, fast. _Spock_, the name drifted lazily through my mind as I sink further away, I almost entertain the thought that he would rescue me before I remind myself that the notion of Spock diving into the fringed water was next to impossible; Vulcans don't swim. It had something to do with their evolution? My mind is playing tricks on me it must be the lack of oxygen that makes me think that the shape coming down at me is my favorite Vulcan.

Yet, I am right to think its him, because a moment later I felt his hot body slam into mine forcing us both further down into the darkness. Unfortunately his impact has driven the last of my air from my lungs and I surrender to the darkness.

…

The water was like a solid wall, and cold; of course I knew it was going to be cold; that was what I was going to tell Jim before he fell. Everything hurts; I feel my heart skip several beats before it starts to pump wildly at my side, but I have to keep going, not letting go of the communicator; still pushing the call button. I could see him in front of me sinking away, further into the sea; he seems to be looking directly at me pleading at me with his eyes. I have to push forward, I have to grab his hand, the transporter will only be able to lock onto the communicator and if I didn't get to Jim in time I will be the only one to teleport back to the Enterprise. So against every nerve in my body I force myself to dive deeper into the water that was taking him away.

I finally grab his arm, but the force of our impact sends the last of my air out of my mouth and I watch with increasingly cloudy vision as the last of my air races towards the surface. I have to keep my grip…I have to keep my grip… I have to…It all goes dark.

…

I wake up in sickbay with the lights and sounds hurting my already buzzing head. Somewhere around me I hear the good Doctor's voice. He sounds angry. "That green blooded hobgoblin is going to send me into an early grave! That water nearly sent that cursed Vulcan heart of his into cardiac-arrest, and there was enough water in his lungs to fill a Rasthians bath house!"

So I hadn't been dreaming Spock had come after me after all. I look around trying to find him and am relieved to see him several rows away. Spock is still laying on one of McCoy's bio-beds, he looks so peaceful…and there is something else that I can not explain. I sit down on the bed next to his and wait.

When Spock wakes he seems disoriented and in pain. I try to calm him, but it takes several tries before he hears me. He stares at me for a while, lost in thought and I am unable to reclaim his attention for some time. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, being naturally predisposed to disliking being immersed in water, the events of the day must be more troublesome to him than they are to me, and I don't think I will be able to forget this day for a long time. Perhaps the good doctor can prescribe a remedy to nightmares so I will be able to sleep. My mind keeps playing the events over and over, I wish I could forget it all, and yet my memory seems dead set on cementing the events into my mind.

I hope Spock is all right…

…

The lights and sounds of the sickbay assaulted my Vulcan ears and cause me to almost black out again. So I had made it, but had Jim? The thought makes me sit strait up before the pain catches up with me and I almost cry out.

"Settle down Spock you're safe now," comes a voice that I know is the Captain's, his tone indicates that this is not the first time that he has spoken to me. His hand settles on mine and began to stroke it in what would be a very calming motion for a human, I wonder briefly if he realizes how intimate that gesture was among Vulcans. Despite the pain, a shiver runs up and down my back before settling in my groin. Fascinating, I had never felt this way about another person: ever. A sudden thought makes its way across my still fuzzy mind: _I am in love with Jim_, well that would explain my behavior. I wonder how this revelation is gong to impact my work. The near death experience seems to be affecting my mind. I don't even realize that Jim has been talking at me this entire time.

The captain stays with me until Doctor McCoy forces him to leave, giving him and neural inhibitor to help him sleep. I am finally released to my room and for the first time in many hours I find myself alone and able to meditate on the meaning of my errant thought from earlier. Yet as I attempt to enter mediation I am overwhelmed by the memories and sensations of drowning, being so close to death, being alone, almost losing _him_. The strength of the emotional outpouring this prospect incurs is enough to break the meditative trance. I stay sitting in my room for a while trying to enter the deeper levels of mediation, but my mind will not settle. I decide to clear my head in a different way. I head to the ship's recreational deck to do a form of Vulcan stretches akin to what the humans aboard would call ti-chi.

I am about half way through the first set of stretches when I become aware of another presence entering the room; Jim, it seems has also not been able to sleep. I am about to address him when I realize that he is not headed towards the weight room, his preferred workout area, but towards the pool. He halts momentarily in front of the entrance, a moment later he opens the door and walks through it, his back as stiff as the preverbal board.

I try to parse out an explanation as to my captain's actions, but I am unable to do so, so I follow him.

…

Even with the inhibitors that Bones gave me I find that I am unable to get the images out of my mind. I try to sleep but each time I wake up with a start and feeling helpless and alone. An idea crosses my mind that if I get back on the preverbal horse then I may be able to quell the images and feelings. I gather what I will need and head to the ship's pool. Part of me knows this is not the best idea; if any thing goes wrong then I will be alone-no Spock to save me _this_ time.

Spock; his name brings up a mix of emotions, not the least of which is the love for him that I have been harboring these past few months. Who knew that I would fall so deeply for my first officer?

My thoughts of Spock carry me all the way to the proper deck and I find myself staring at the pool's door. I hesitate, wondering again if this is the best move, another image passes through my mind's eye and I straighten and pass through the door. Inside is the pool. I have been here many times and have several wonderful memories of some good parties held here, yet tonight it seems very large and foreboding. There is no sound except for the water lapping around the edge.

In a hurry, I change into the shorts that I have brought and stare at the water trying to decide how to best get this over with. A moment later the decision is made for me, as I am startled to hear the door open and I find myself falling back into the water: again.

…

I follow Jim to the door, and I am about to enter when I hear the sounds of clothing being removed, I decide to give my captain privacy and wait until I can no longer hear him. Curious to know what is going on I enter the room without announcing myself.

For the second time today I watch as my captain spins around and falls backwards. The resulting splash sends water lapping around my feet. For a moment I freeze in terror. This cannot be happening! I move to the edge of the pool and try to see into the dark depths. I am almost at a loss as to what to do when I hear the sound of the captain hitting the bottom of the pool and returning to the surface. He tries to grab hold of the siding, as I am bend over to help him. He is sputtering and coughing and shaking as he breaks the surface. I have not taken into account the slippery flooring. In his panic Jim pulls too heavily on my arm, and pulls me off balance; sending us both plummeting back into the dark water.

…

I'm lucky that I was standing next to a relatively shallow end of the pool, so I only sink a few feet before my feet hit the floor, and I am able to project myself back to the surface. I blindly grab for the edge of the pool, trying to get the water away from my eyes and out from my mouth. My hand hits something solid and I begin to pull myself out of the water, but something isn't right, the object I am holding shifts and as I pull I feel it tug forward and I am forced back into the pool. I hear something hit the water and for a moment I am tangled with another much warmer body. Once again I project myself towards the surface, but I am hampered by the body that has become mingled with mine. We break the surface and bob several times under water before a strong arm catches the edge of the pool and prevents our decent. I quickly grab the edge and for the first time I am able to wipe the water from my face to see who my unfortunate partner has been. When I see his drenched face I begin laughing so hard that I almost loose my grip on the pool's edge.

…

Once again I am underwater, and for a brief moment I have no idea which way is up and which is down. I can feel my captain's limbs mingled with mine; but I am relieved when he shots upward dragging me with him. Unfortunately our combined weight causes us to only break the surface for a moment before sinking back. We continue to do this several times before I am able to get a firm grip on the siding and prevent us from going back down. Jim also grabs the wall and begins to swipe at his eyes moving the sopping wet hair away so he can see. When he finishes he looks right at me and begins to laugh so hard that I have to keep my grip on him to keep him above the water. Human responses to certain stimuli can be quite illogical at times.

"I fail to see the humor in this situation." I say trying to get some information to work with, anything to help me understand the bizarre series of events that have led us to our current predicament.

"Ah ha, I…I just..." He replies looking at me with a smile beginning to play across his features. " I am just having a hard time understanding how this has happened to us twice in a singe day"

"I too am at a loss for reason, but I believe it would do us both some good to get out of here." I respond as I begin to pull myself over the side of the pool.

" You go ahead, I need to do something here first." Jim smiles up at me and pushes himself away from the side of the pool and turns to face the opposite side.

I have watched humans swim before and have always fond it rather fascinating how graceful they can be in the water even through their evolutionary path has been out of water for several thousands of year. This time is different though; I can't help but watch the powerful strokes that my captain uses to propel himself through the water. Turning his head on every upstroke of this right arm to obtain air. He reaches the side and dose a tight kick flip before heading back in my direction. Just before I think he is going to collide with the wall he stops and looks up and me using the powerful movement of his legs to keep above the water's surface. For a moment I feel a deep sense of longing to join him, but my fear and inability to swim prevent me from taking such actions. Our eyes meet and we spend the next few moments staring at each other before he begins to shiver and props himself over the edge and walks over to a bench where he has a towel and clothing waiting.

…

I finish the lap that I came here to do and as I look up see Spock still standing were I left him. I begin to tread water and look up at him; the night shift lighting puts his body in a deep contrast with the shadows. Thinking about that body I begin to get shivers down my spine and make my way out of the pool before Spock notices the betrayals of my emotions.

I grab the towel that I brought with me and turn back and see that my Vulcan friend is still standing at the edge staring at the water; he is still soaking wet. I walk up behind him and drape the towel around his slender shoulders before beginning to rub him dry. He doesn't seem to notice until I use the tip of the towel to dab away a drop of water that is about to drip off the edge of his pointy ear. He shivers slightly, and his hand covers mine lightly before griping the towel and handing to me. He walks over to the storage containers of spare towels to get his own. For a moment I think that he is offended by my actions, but then he returns and wraps the new towel around me and begins to gently pat the water away from my skin.

"Spock" I manage to say as he continues to methodically remove the water from my body, "I…I…thank you." I end up stuttering. His movements bring his hands very close to my navel; my body shutters again, something that I hope he attributes to the cooler temperature of the air around us. Yet, even as I think this he bends forward and his face comes into close proximity to my own; I can smell his breath, a sort of spicy minty smell that I have never experienced before. I lean forward, not sure what to do, hoping that this is not an imagined advance.

…

I can hear my captain behind me, but I don't turn around. I try to focus my thoughts and quell the emotions that are threatening to break out of my control. I am almost able to, but my trance is broken as Jim begins to rub a towel across my ear. I catch his hand and for a while I am unsure with how to proceed. I feel a growing need to be with my captain, and on an uncharacteristic whim I stride over to the storage containers on the far side of the room and obtain another towel.

When I turn back I see a strange look of sadness on Jim's face, which is suddenly replaced by happy confusion as I drape the towel around him, and begin to dry him. I weakly try to justify me actions as logical: it would not do to have the captain get sick from the cold. Even as the thought crosses my mind I find that I don't care if I can justify my actions or not. I can feel Jim's body react to my movements, and in a moment of truly illogical daringness I bend forward towards his face; not for the first time I notice that his eyes are slightly off balance giving him a look of confidence that I find truly entrancing.

Our lips gently brush and part and then come back together, parting, letting his tongue enter my mouth, we both move slowly, perhaps he is as uncertain of our actions as I am, that would be… logical.

…

I must be dreaming, Spock, the man that I have so often fantasied over like a love struck teenager, is kissing me and letting me explore him without reprisal. I feel the tension of the day seemingly flow out of me as every muscle in my body begins to relax and melt into his warm body.

"Spock is this real?" I ask as we part for air. I can hear his breathing and it's more jagged then before. Is it possible that this perfect man shares my feelings for him?

"Affirmative" His voice is slightly deeper and more jagged then normal and his hand that has not yet left my back pulls in ever so slightly drawing me closer to him. I want nothing more then to stay here in this perfect moment in time gazing into the dark eyes of the man that I love. For several long moments we do just that before he leans into another kiss, I reach for his hand and find it by his side, however I almost drop it when I first hold it; his hand is freezing. I press closer to him and realize that his whole body is significantly cooler then I remember.

I am being a fool to let him just stand here in the cold; his uniform is still dripping despite my attempts to dry him. I decide to risk my luck and slip my hands under his shirts and begin to pull them off, for a moment he turns to stone under my touch, but he soon realizes what I am doing and removes his shirts for me. I wrap the slightly drier towel around his torso. I almost get lost in his magnificence, but the sight of goose-bumps forming along his chest remind me that I need to get my Vulcan to a warmer room then this.

…

I don't resist as Jim removes my shirt and wraps the warm towel around me, its relative warmth serves to remind me of just how cold I have become. Jim looks slightly lost; so I move my arm around him and propel us both towards the door, back to the officer's deck. The air in the halls is slightly cooler then in the recreational deck so I quicken my pace hoping that there is no one else awake to see me half dragging a mostly naked captain along side me.

Thankfully, there is no one around at this hour and we are soon back in the corridor that houses both our rooms. I pass his door in favor of mine since I keep the temperature in my room 13.56 degrees warmer then his to accommodate my Vulcan biology. Walking into the room I feel his body relax as the heat of the room begins to warm both our bodies. He has not spoken since we left, and I begin to worry that something has gone wrong, but when I look down at him I see that it is merely the exhaustion of the day that has finally caught up to him. I grab a robe from my closet and several towels form the bathroom that connects our rooms. I wrap the robe around him and begin to dry myself off so that I may also get into some drier clothing.

…

His movements are so graceful, as he moves about his room gathering the things he needs, that I find that I can't stop looking at him; even as he removes his pants and his remaining clothing. I only get a glimpse, but what I see sends a sensation down my spine that is stronger then I have ever felt. Spock quickly and effortlessly redresses into another robe and guides me to his bed. I get in first and he follows curving his body around mine. I can feel the warmth of his body and am amazed at just how well we seem to fit together. The combined heat of his body and the comfort of the bed take over and I find that sleep isn't an option any more; it's unavoidable. I no longer fear that I will be haunted by the dark visions of the day.

…

Jim falls asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow and I watch as his breathing slows and becomes more regular. I stroke his back for a while before allowing myself to slip into sleep as well. A final word plays through my mind as I drift out of continuousness: T'hy'la.

When I wake the next morning I have a brief moment of confusion before I remember the events of the night before and that the warm body next to me is my t'hy'la, my love, my captain. We are not due to report for duty for another hour and forty-eight minutes, so I shift onto my elbow so that I may watch him sleep. For a while he is perfectly still, then I notice a faint movement of his face. His eyes begin moving restlessly under their lids, this is normal for the human sleep cycle so I do not worry, but then he twitches and begins to move violently against the bed as if trying to fight some unseen foe. I move to comfort him and he wakes with a half strangled scream of my name. He looks around feverishly before seeing me sitting next to him, and he dives into my arms holding on as if his life depended on it.

...

_Falling, I was falling, but this time it was different, I can see myself. A foreign feeling of paralyzing fear runs through my body, my captain will die if I do nothing. I'm suddenly rushing towards the water, I feel the fear that drives me mix with the knowledge that what I am doing will most likely kill me too, I can feel the statistics run through my mind, yet I ignore them, focusing only on the body ahead of me, _my body_. The water feels like its trying to rip my sides apart, my muscles hurt as they harden in response to the cold, I'm dying but I can't stop the motion, every fiber of my being is screaming at me to get out, but I must save my love, a second thought filters through; even if I wanted too I would be unable to escape this hell on my own, this freezing, crushing, driving place will be my tomb. I feel relief briefly as I catch my target, but it's replaced with a deeper fear as I watch as the air escapes both of our bodies and races back towards the surface…_

I wake with a start, for a moment I can't breath, I feel the waters cold depth around me. "Spock" the name escapes my lips in a half strangled cry. I realize that my dream had been from his perspective, I don't know how or why but I have felt and seen through his eyes. I spin around and burry myself in his arms trying desperately to shake the images from my mind. I can feel him stroking my arm and trying to calm me with words that I cannot hear. After several long moments I begin to calm and am able to release my hold on my Vulcan lover. He shifts to better hold me, pressing my back into his chest and circles his strong arms around me holding us together while I tell him about the visions I just had.

As I calm down he explains that while Vulcan's usually use mind melds to share their thought, any contact with their skin can act as a conduit for the transference of memory.

…

Jim takes a while to calm down enough to tell me what he saw in his dream. As he explains I feel my insides clench as I recognize what has happened. My thoughts became his, he saw what I saw, and our minds were one. I explain to him the process of a Vulcan mind-meld is a highly controlled version of natural touch telepathy and that the transference of thought can happen at any time if the Vulcan has lowered their mental barriers and is in sufficient contact with another's skin. I explain that my human half makes it hard to control these barriers while in deep sleep, so it is very possible that his mind received a selection my memories, which it translated into the nightmare he just had.

His tremors slow down and the look of terror on his face slowly begins to fade, only to be replaced with a deeper concern as he stares at me. He asks me if what he saw and felt, was really what it was like for me.

"The human mind has a tendency to create inferences where none exist." I answer, hoping that he won't notice that I haven't really answered his question. The look on his face tells me that he knows I'm not telling the full truth, but thankfully he drops the subject.

…

I never imagined that Spock could be capable of such deep emotion and love for me. I had often hoped that behind his stoic seeming that there was love for me, but I never imagined that it ran as deep as it did. He had risked more then I realized in saving me and had fought some very powerful personal demons to do so.

When I ask about the visions I saw, he gives me some generalized nonsense about human psychology, which I realize is an attempt to comfort me, so I do not push for the truth; in a way by lying he has already shown his hand. I will find a way to fix everything, but first I need to prepare for the day. I gently release his grip of me and after placing a gentle kiss on his forehead, I walk through the bathroom to my room to get dressed, the crew needs to see their captain be strong after the events of the day before. With each piece of my uniform I put on I can feel the mask of strength that I use as captain slip into place, as I finish lacing my boots I feel like Captain James T Kirk once more. I turn back to Spock's room and find that he has preformed a similar ritual and is dressed smartly in his light blue science uniform. With a promise to talk more tonight we leave for the bridge looking to the entire world like the same captain and commander that walked these halls some 24 hours ago.

The alpha shift goes by without any major excitement as we are still orbiting the planet and are still conducting our research as planed, to anyone who did not know, this was a day just like any other.

I take my lunch with Dr. McCoy and discuss many unimportant things with him before getting to the real reason I came to sickbay. I want to know all I can about Vulcan biology and evolution. Bones has several texts on the subject in his library and lets me borrow them for as long as I need. There is a faint glimmer in his eye as he hands the books over and mumbles something about it being "about time".

The books answer the questions I had and reveal some information I that I hadn't even thought to ask about. I always knew that Vulcan was a desert planet, but I had always assumed that it grew cold at night like the deserts on Earth, however due to the nature of the planet and its atmosphere the temperatures do not drop; meaning that Vulcans were built to always be warm and that cold was a foreign sensation to their bodies, one that can be quite painful for them. This coupled with the interesting bits about Vulcans evolving from a more feline animal instead of the ape like creature that humans had evolved from, went a long way to explain my partners reaction to the day before. I shutter as I remember the dream that I had, had this morning. I vow that I will do everything in my power to help my love.

…

Despite being physically close to Jim all day in the bridge, I feel a certain distance between us that grows even further when he disappears at lunch telling me he has to see Dr. McCoy and will see me later. I wonder if my actions, the night before, have made the captain somehow wary of me. A stab of pain races through me at the thought of never being with him and I focus on my reading to get my mind off these new doubts.

A moment later the captain enters the bridge and catches my gaze, he gives me one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen, it seems there is nothing wrong and I let the faintest of smiles reach my mouth before turning back to my work. I wonder what transpired during lunch that has left my captain in such a good mood.

When our shift ends Jim quietly disappears before I get a chance to talk with him, I finish briefing the night crew and collect the reports from my station before I begin to make my way back to my room hoping that an answer will be waiting for me.

…

My mind is racing with the preparations that I need to make, so when the shift ends I dart to the turbo lift without even saying goodnight to the crew, they will have to come to their own conclusions about my actions as they often do. I feel a momentary pang of guilt of having left the task of briefing the night crew, a job that is traditionally the captain's to Spock, but I know what I have to do and I will need the precious time that his briefings will offer me.

My first order of business is to change the temperature of my room, I quickly locate the dial and turn it up 10 degrees tapping my foot impatiently wishing that the effects of my actions were immediately felt. But I cannot spend my time waiting for the room to warm, I rush to the bathroom were the large tub is waiting, a perk of being the captain of the flagship of the federation. The tub itself is large enough to fit several people at one time resembling a small pool more then a traditional bath. I know the Spock never uses it preferring to take showers in the morning before I wake. I turn the dials trying to find the optimum temperature to make my lover comfortable without burning my slightly more sensitive skin. I watch as the water slowly fills the basin, I can see the steam beginning to rise from it and I know that I got it right, but I cannot stop here I have to prepare myself for the night as well.

…

As I walk down the hall towards my captain's room I reflect on the sudden message I received on my communicator just as I was about to step into the turbo lift, 'meet me in my room' the five words had so many different meanings I have a hard time trying to decipher them. I concentrate on my breathing as I near the door, pressing the comm button next to the door I hear his voice "enter" there is something off, his voice is slightly higher then normal, I hope nothing is wrong.

I walk into a wall of heat, it seems that Jim has adjusted his room temperature to more closely match mine, the temperature only holds my attention for a moment as I notice Jim sitting on the bed in front of me wearing a bathrobe that is loosely tied to his mid section leaving his chest open to the air, I notice there is the slight gleam of sweat glistening there making him glow even more then normal.

As I enter he stands making his way over to me gently taking the info-disks from my hands and placing them on a counter next to me. His hands find their way under my shirt and begin to lift the shirt off of me, he looks up at me with the question in his eyes and I grab my shirt and finish taking it off for him. The smile that he rewards me with is enough to make my heart start beating faster. His hands then make their way to my pants where again he stops and again there is a question in his eyes. However when I move to help him he bats my hand away and slowly, like a child unwrapping a gift, he slips my pants down to my ankles. His eyes slowly gaze over my full body several times before I begin to feel blood rushing to my face, and elsewhere evidence of my arousal begins to make itself known. Seeing this Jim's face lights up and he grabs my hands lightly dragging me to the bathroom. I slip out of my boots and follow now in nothing but my shorts.

…

The sight of my Vulcan's body is better then I expected; the lines and angles seem like a perfect work of art to me. I cannot help but stare at his perfect body and for a moment I forget my plan and just drink it in. On one of my many gazes down I begin to see that he has become aroused and I lead him to the bathroom were the bath is now filled with warm water that I hope will be warm enough.

His eye hold questions that I refuse to answer as we walk slowly, I can hear the sound of his boots hitting the floor as he kicks them off while trailing after me. When we reach the bath I pull the knot that has kept my robe on and it falls down around my feet, I then step into the bath and look up expectantly at my new love. For a moment I fear that he will run away and that I have over stepped my boundaries, but a moment later he hooks his finger into the band of his shorts and in a fluid gesture he removes the last of his garments and slides into the bath next to me. For the first time I see Spock's body in full and I love every inch of his body. I slide closer to him feeling the warm water move between us. His arms snake out and wrap around my torso as he pulls me to his chest, his legs bent up on either side of me. I lean back until the water is at my chin and my head is resting on his lower chest. I think I am the happiest man in all of Star Fleet.

…

I feel Jim's heart beat through his chest as I pull him closer to me so I can feel more of his body. He is perfect and I find that I never want to let go of my t'hy'la. He slips down and his golden hair rests gently on my chest sending a pleasant sensation throughout my body. I let my hands slip into the warm water, exploring every inch of his body working my way down his chest to his highly muscled stomach and then below. I feel his body react as he arcs back, his head pushing against my stomach, his back arching so high that his body is almost out of the water. A moan escapes his lips as he lowers his body back towards mine. He says my name several times as he continues to arch and lower as I continue to run my fingers lightly over the lines of his body. Slowly he turns wrapping his legs around my midsection and begins to lightly rub his fingers down my chest, each time coming tantalizingly closer. I moan loudly and take his hands in mine, he understands and begins to lick them sending spasm after spasm through my body. I pull my hands away and move them to his face; my fingers find his meld points instantly. I open my mind to his…

…

I feel Spock's mind in mine and I'm suddenly lost in a wave of emotion that I could not have even dreamed existed. I know he can feel my affection for him and our feeling mingle and crash over each other, once again I feel the overwhelming need to be with him, but this time it's no dream, it's real and we are both here. Our minds melt into each other, our emotions and feelings for each other reverberating across the bond, growing stronger with each pass.

The images slow and the emotions settle allowing me to, for the first time, see what my first officer is really thinking. At first I get memories of his home on Vulcan, a childhood of torment; decisions; pride; sorrow; resolution. I see the familiar halls of the academy; I feel the sense of being overwhelmed by all the emotional humans, his questioning; his longing to belong. I see the interior of the Enterprise, his first captain; Pike, I see the faces of all those he has worked with, his appreciation and aggravation with Bones. Finally I see myself, I am lit with a light that radiates with his love for me; images of my body from every angle flow through my mind, his love for me attached to each one. I can feel his pain when I am hurt, his sorrow over my pain, his elation when I am happy. Yet I can sense that he is trying to keep part of his mind hidden from me. I try to coax his mind into releasing the bonds that he has built, but he just pushes me away, showing me more of his memories instead. I begin to see a pattern to the memories and I realize that our exploits of the previous day are the ones not being shown. Before I can stop, my mind releases the memories and I can feel his mind recoil from the duel image that my mind has erected from my experience and my dream. I go through the entire day in my head, but it is not until I see the pool in my mind that I feel the strongest barrier form in his mind. I push that memory forward and I feel his walls begin to crumble; I quickly get a sense of longing before the meld is broken.

I begin to understand and a plan begins to form in my mind; I know what I must do.

…

The experience of the meld has left us both breathless; I can feel his ragged breath as he leans in towards my chest. I am still amazed by the complexities of my t'hy'la's mind, it would seem that there is much more to my love then even I knew. It's this new found knowledge of his wisdom and insight that scares me; I do not know if he will be able to translate the last thought that had escaped my hold before I broke the meld. I can only hope that he will not.

We continue to enjoy each other's embrace until the water begins to get cold. He stands up and I watch the water drain away from the perfection that is his body. I also rise and follow him as he takes two towels from a heater that I hadn't noticed before. He follows the same pattern as the night before, gently placing the towel over my shoulders before beginning to rub the water from my body. I take the second towel and begin to return the favor, paying special attention to the parts of his body that I now know give him the most pleasure, I'm rewarded with several small spasms that travel through his body.

After draining the tub he turns wordlessly to lead us back to his room and to his bed. Just like the night before he climbs in first and I follow curving my body around his keeping him warm throughout the night.

…

The next day goes by in a blur. I have a hard time keeping my mind on the task in front of me, it keeps wondering to the plans that I began to form the night before. This will be the riskiest move I have ever made in a relationship, if I mess-up I risk losing Spock's love forever, I hope that I have translated his thoughts perfectly…there is a lot on the line.

At lunch I give a lame excuse to Bones and rush off to begin my preparations for the coming night.

…

My captain seems distracted all morning; he has not even noticed that Sulu is not at his station; that he has taken a sick day and is replaced by Lt. Mariacrin. I cringe each time he uses the wrong name. Luckily the rest of the crew seems to think that his lapse of memory is funny; chuckling each time that the captain calls the young female lieutenant, Sulu.

At lunch he gives me the briefest of smiles and waves as he dashes for the turbo lift before I can request that I eat with him. I hope that he is with Dr. McCoy again, but that hope is short lived as a few moments later McCoy joins the rest of the senior officers at our table: without Jim. The rest of the crew asks where he is and I turn my attention to McCoy, but I do not receive the information that I am looking for since it would seem that the captain had not given a good reason to the doctor before dashing off again to parts of the ship unknown. I know that if I really wanted to I could have the computer locate him, yet part of me tells me that I am better off not knowing, to leave it a surprise, strangely this part of my mind sounds eerily like the captain.

When the captain returns to his post there is a faint glistening of sweat around his forehead that no one else notices, my curiosity of his actions increase to the point of being almost unbearable. My only hope is that his intentions will soon become clear.

The shift, while no longer then any other I have served, seems to drag on and I am not surprised when at the end of our shift my captain again disappears through the turbo lift doors leaving me with the expectant night crew. I hope this is not going to become a habit; though considering what was in store for me last night perhaps I should rethink that wish.

If I had not read on his medical chart that he was not psychic I would almost be inclined to accuse my captain of being so, just as I'm about to depart I again receive an all too brief message telling me to meet him in his room. My heartbeat increases as I stride towards the door. I am rather disappointed when I open the door and find Jim fully clothed and holding a bag in his hands. He looks exited but there are traces of fear in his face. He does not let me get through the door, instead taking the data sheets and placing them on the table before turning me around and leading me through the halls still carrying his bag.

Wordlessly he propels me through the halls of the ship, we pass very few people, but I do not think he sees them; he has an extraordinarily determined look on his face. I begin to recognize the path he is leading me on and I'm not surprised as we finally stop in front of the door to the recreational deck. I am however surprised when he uses a command code to open the door and then seals it again after we have entered. As I look around I notice that the room is empty and the temperature has been raised to closely match our now shared quarters. Before I can ask the questions that are forming in my mind I find that he is leading us further into the room, to the door that separates the rest of the hall form the pool. My heart skips a beat, but I still follow. He stops in front of the door and for the first time since the end of our shift he turns around and talks to me.

"Do you trust me?" his words carry so much weight that I am a little taken aback and I really consider the question in my head, do I trust him? I have sacrificed my safety for his before, I have followed his orders, I've even almost died for him; so do I trust him: of course I do; any thing else would be illogical. When I tell him this his face lights up briefly before a mask of concentration covers his face once more, but I still catch the briefest flashes of fear on his face before he turns back to open the door.

The smaller room beyond is even warmer then the one we are in, an image of Jim sweating as he joined us on the bridge plays across my mind eye. I believe that I can safely guess where he was at lunch. I look around the room and in the light I can clearly make out where we fell a night ago and I notice there is a large 9 printed on the side of the pools inner wall. Jim doesn't stop but leads us away from that spot towards the far wall; the numbers start going down and by the time we reach 3, I can see the bottom of the pool. He continues until he has reached the far end where there is a wider platform with benches strewn around, he takes one and sits down on it and begins to remove his boots and socks, he looks up at me and I wordlessly sit next to him and begin to remove my own clothing. A few times I catch him staring at me out of the corner of my eye, but every time I turn to him he goes back to his task of removing his uniform. Once he finishes he stands and gently takes my hands in his, he begins walking backward, his eyes never leave mine, I feel as if he is trying to read my every thought. His path takes him directly to the edge of the pool were a set of shallow steps have been set up for easy entry. Without slowing he begins his decent into the water dragging me with him. As I enter the pool I notice that the temperature has also been raised to a much more comfortable level.

Jim keeps going, the water is now up to his chest but he hasn't slowed. A moment later the water is up to his chin, I stop not wanting to go any further, my fears begin to take hold, what was I thinking getting in here, it's not logical. Yet as I look into his face I see the reason: I would follow this man anywhere; he is my t'hy'la.

Sensing my trepidation Jim stops and for a while just standing there looking at me. Suddenly he disappears under the water's surface, I can feel him as he winds his body around mine like a cat, every place he touches feels like it's on fire. He surfaces behind me for air and spinning me around; he pulls me into a deep kiss that leaves us both breathless. A slow grin makes its way onto his face and once again he dives under the water to wind his way around me, and again surfaces behind me forcing me to turn. Each time he surfaces he pulls me into embraces that leave every nerve in my body wanting more. I loose track of how many times he has spun me; my only thoughts are on him, wanting more of everything he is willing to give. Once again he dives under, but I do not feel him winding around me, I look around to see where he has surfaced. When I do not see him I begin to panic, but then he is in front of me several feet away beckoning for me to join him.

"Jim" I start to say, but he glides over to me and stretches out his arms.

"Trust me, I will keep you safe" His voice breaks through some of my fears, I slowly begin to move forward to hold him again; he stays half a step out of my reach. Just as the water is about to over take me I feel his strong arms circle under mine as he keeps me above the surface. He gently strokes my hand calming my nerves as he moves pulling us still further into the pool. When he stops he pulls me close to his body and kisses me until I forget where I am. Slowly he releases his grip holding me away from his body, but still supporting me. I watch his movements in the water, the way that he rhythmically circles his strong legs under the water, I begin to imitate his movements as he continues to hold me his eyes locked on mine. I feel his grip loosen as I become able to support my own weight, finally he removes his hand from my wrist, but lets it hover an inch below mine, testing my strength, the promise he made resonating in his eyes. As he lets his hands drift away his face breaks out into a huge grin, his pride in me is evident in his every move. He backs away with a strong movement of his arms until he is a good three feet away; his gaze stays locked on mine. After a brief period of just watching he again dives beneath the surface, I can see his body racing towards mine, he dives deeper so that he passes right under where I am and I hear him resurface behind me. I feel his body heat as he slides right up against me and begins to kiss the length of my spine. I arch back slowly and his hands slide under my back, he leans forward and kisses me again.

We continue this for a while, him always moving around me and surprising me each time he finds a new way to make my body shutter. I begin to think of a plan that should work to surprise him just as much, it is his turn to worry.

…

My plan has worked better then even I had imagined, I now have my love with me and I can kiss him till my lips turn blue. The look of pure trust in his eyes is enough to make my heart sing. I delight in the knowledge that I was able to do this for him, and that he was willing to place his life in my hands.

I have moved the farthest I've dared to go when everything changes, he suddenly stops moving and brings his limbs together, without the movement of his legs his weight drags him below the surface, I dive to catch him but the distance between us takes precious time to close. I reach out to grab him but with a quick flex of his legs he uses the floor to propel himself back up and away from me. We both surface at about the same time, quickly closing the gap I race to him grabbing his arm searching for the fear that I know should be on his face, yet all I find is amusement. I realize a minute too late that my love has just turned the tables and made me worry. He reaches his arms out to me and I accept the offer for an embrace. He pulls me close and as our skin touches I feel his amusement through our bond, I send my annoyances back in return but that just seems to fuel his amusement. Well two can play this game.

…

I watch as Jim closes the gap between us the fear on his face makes me almost regret what I have done. I draw him into another embrace and let our bond smooth out his nerves, its wonderful to feel his concern about me. I'm about to apologize when I feel his emotions turn playful and a daring smile erupts across his face. He pulls out of my grasp and move away until he is further away then he has ever been, his smile widens as he beckons to me. I try to follow, but my movements are clumsy and slow, he is always able to stay ahead of me. He continues this chase until we reach the far end of the pool opposite to where we entered. With a fluid movement he lifts him self out and onto the walkway that encompasses the pool. Slowly he reaches his hand out to me to offer assistance, but I grab the wall instead and pull myself out that way. We stand there letting the water run off our bodies and back into the pool. Jim's breathing is heavier then when we entered, but that is to be expected after what he has been doing for the past hour and a half. His gaze wonders around the room. His eyes finally settle on a platform suspended in the air above us. He turns to me and holds out his hand. Taking it I am led to the base of a ladder that leads to the platform. He lets go of my hand and begins to climb; I wait until he is several rungs above me before I follow. I have seen the humans aboard the ship use this devise so I know what is in store when I get to the top. Jim steps aside to let me up; he turns to me smiling and takes my hand in his.

"I love you, I will always be yours, I will keep you safe, you are my life" As he says these words his eyes mist a little but he dose not turn away.

"As you are mine, parted from me and never parted, never and always touching and touched." I recite the Vulcan marriage vows and turn to face the water in front of us… We jump.

…

Again I am falling, but this time it's all right…

…

My t'hy'la…

…

Is here with me…

…

And always shall be.


End file.
